Looking forward to going back to work

Many things need to happen before I go back to work.  But the biggest thing is that Evelyn needs to get INTO a daycare.  This is not easy in my area.  The wait at the public daycares near my house is two and a half years.  I found a private one not far from us and we are on the waiting list. This stresses me out.  I am a black and white person.  I need to know when and where and how.  I am not good at not knowing things.

Once she gets over the idea of being away from me (or is it me being away from her?), I like the idea of daycare.  She will learn how to act socially, she will learn what it's like to be in a group, she will learn to be independent...  I like the idea of being Susie again.  Right now, I just feel like a mom - no time for myself, always thinking about Evelyn.  I look forward to the challenge of work; I look forward to interacting with people my age.

There is guilt involved in going back to work.  I would like to refuse to feel guilty.  I would like...  Will that happen?  I don't know but I am going work hard at not feeling guilty.